The Truth About Today

All day, I’ve felt like my chest was being crushed and like I was choking on nothing. It’s a familiar sensation, but it’s one I’ve been lucky to dodge for some time now.

That’s the thing about the heart. It can mend. But that also means that it can break all over again.

I know that what is meant for me will not pass me, and that which is not meant for me will never be mine. I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that in every hardship, there is ease. I know that it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of these things, but I also know that it’s not always enough.

I’ve been feeling so guilty over the reasons for my heartache. I have spent this week questioning why I am a certain way (looks, personality, intelligence, etc.), and maybe if I were different, things would be different. Things might be better. Easier. Why couldn’t God have let me have those things?

I don’t know, there’s no way that I can. But I do believe that everything that feels like a hardship is, indeed, a test. I believe that with all my heart, but it is a heart that has been beaten and bruised by former relationships, as well as its own anxieties.

I don’t have a clever one-liner with which to leave this post. The entire thing is poorly written. I’ll try again tomorrow. But, for now, I just feel heartbroken.

2 thoughts on “The Truth About Today

  1. Liz C. says:

    Hi Yusra. I’m here to give you a virtual hug.. *hugs* I hope you feel better soon… I understand how you feel.. although maybe not completely (since we all go through different things)

    But what you said here is spoken from the heart.. and honest writing can be a good form of release.. So I hope that it helps you feel better sometimes.

    I wrote about some tips that I wanted to apply to myself.. to feel better about ME as a person.. You might want to check it out: https://dailywarriors.wordpress.com/2017/01/10/3-ways-to-improve-self-esteem/

    You are a lovely person, and there’s no one else like you… God made you as you are.

    It’s easier said.. than actually absorbed. I should take my own advise too.. Let’s go through the journey of learning to love ourselves more… because it’s really important. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

    • Ease & Honor says:

      Hi dear! Thank you so much for your kind words. Sending *hugs* to you too 🙂 I loved your blog post- those are all things I’m definitely going to keep in mind going forward. Excited for both of us to find ultimate self acceptance and self love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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